Did you have your food today, the food for ‘our’ thought I gave you? Did you smell the rich aroma of the cold coffee while I was having it? Or did you notice how happy I was while I was imagining shapes in cloud-lets in the evening sky? Did you see how it brightened up the face of the cab driver today when I thanked him politely at the end of my ride? And did you hear the melodic funny song the dog, who lives in our building, was singing to me? Or did you feel the butterflies in my stomach when I was planning my next trip to mountains? I know you do see it all. You are the one who taught me all these. You made me find all these miracles of little joys.
I know you watch over me all the time. It is me who doesn’t give you enough importance sometimes, I know I am guilty of that. But then you told me once that it was not about me; it was about life, about everything else around me. That I don’t have all the time in this world to finish seeing, feeling, smelling, sensing all the beautiful things. So I don’t waste my time whining, complaining(okay, I do that still), or making excuses anymore. You told me life was about facing challenges and finding solutions. It is about accepting both the win and failure with grace. A win makes us confident and failure teaches us lessons of life. So I stopped controlling my life. I am much happier ever since. I feel ‘free’, just as I always wanted to feel.
Did I ever tell you how much I appreciate all the gifts you gave me? My brother (my twin soul), my husband (love of my life), all my grandparents (most loving ones), parents (oh actually they are my children, still so immature), all my friends (I have great ones), my nephew, cousins, my granddaughter(oh I already have a magical one too). I have made so many wonderful memories already with them that whenever I feel down I remember those gems and they give me wings to fly again. They are my happy thoughts.
Hey Zindagi, tell me secretly, does any of them consider me as their gift of life? Do they find me intolerable or do they feel lucky to have me in their life? Do they write about me when they write you any letter? [I often wonder, you see! *big grin*]. Because it matters most to me, to be able to love and to be loved back.
You know, there were times when I thought you were going to leave me and nothing would be same again. Specially whenever I was confronted with mysterious, dark deaths of my loved ones. Or those times whenever I was heartbroken. Wasn’t I naive? You were right back there holding me up every time. You have given me enough space and freedom without choking my senses to deal with those losses and helped me back on my feet. There were those times when you changed the courses of my life with twists and turns. I can never thank you enough for that. You make the entire journey worthwhile.
I know one day we will part our ways. My final destination, like everyone else’s, is somewhere else. I will finish my chapters and close the book the moment my story is over. I don’t mind going back to the bookshelf. Because I know it is the journey which is more important, not the destination. I want to be free but never free enough of your charm and companionship. I am going to miss you when we are done.
But hey Zindagi, I am not quite finished with you yet.
Let’s rock for many more years.
Reply, are you going to miss me too?