Dealing with Death

This post is personal. Generally I don’t share all these openly but today I had to.

If there is anything in this world I couldn’t learn to deal with yet, that is death. Death of someone close, death of someone I know and even tragic death of unknown people. Probably I will never be able to learn it.

The two heaviest deaths among all the deaths I have seen and tried to deal with till now were my grandparent’s death. Missing them is one of my daily task even after 17 and 14 years. I can’t explain the amount of pain I go through whenever I think about them. I have never imagined that I would need to live without them. Life is not same without them.

But today one sudden death knocked me down so bad which I have never imagined is even possible. He was a friend of my brother, lived nearby, in his mid 20’s. [I can’t believe I am writing ‘he was’.] He was 2-3 years younger to my brother and much younger to me. I saw him growing up from an adorable tiny baby to a still adorable young handsome man. He was one of those rare humans who is always smiling. Even the crankiest person might have felt calm around him. He had to face family problems at very young age still he never looked upset or down even for a day. I am very close to my brother and most of his friends from our locality, as if they all are my own brothers. We literally grew up together. So this loss is unbearable and so strange.

Few months back he fell from a two storied building while flying kites. It was a holiday on 17th September when everyone in West Bengal celebrates ‘Viswakarma Puja’ by flying kites every year. I heard he fell on a tree luckily instead of falling on the ground and then was rushed to hospital. My heart skipped few beats hearing such horrifying news and then I assured myself that he must be alright since he was taken to hospital. Afterwards I completely forgot about the whole incident as I myself fell sick and had to run around from doctor to clinics. And then “demonetization” happened. So there was no chance left to remember his accident as I live in a different city.

Today my father called me up and told that my brother went to his friend’s funeral! He was wrongly diagnosed and not treated properly. Another victim of medical negligence. If not for the wrong treatment he would be still alive. He had a beautiful girlfriend and a job. His marriage date was fixed on this coming January. He had a long bright life ahead. His girlfriend tried her best to take care of him. They were still so young. This is so unfair.

Incidentally my brother went home (kolkata) for a short while. Even though I know how does it feel to hear about a dear friend’s death but I don’t know how does it feel to attend a childhood friend’s funeral and see him becoming ashes which my brother is dealing with right now. And I didn’t know how horrible it feels to face a younger brother’s death, until today.

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